I'm a stalker now?

Is it weird that I'm trying to find information about her? I mean, I haven't heard a word from her in so long, but I still find myself thinking about her every now and then.

Actually, trying isn't the right word. The internet is such a useful tool, I was able to get all the information I need to get in touch with her within 10 minutes. I REALLY want to call her and chat; see what she's been up to, find out if she's doing well... you know... basic shit. The thing that stops me dead in my tracks is that it's kind of creepy. I put myself in her shoes and think about my reaction if some dude from her past calls up and wants to check up on her. It's borderline stalking! I guess the term "check up on her" isn't right, either. Sounds like I'm making sure she's still single and thinking about me as well, which I doubt. See what I mean by creepy?

I'd like to think that she's kept her independent ways, but I know I'm deluding myself. Hell, it's been 3 years. I wouldn't be surprised if she found herself a great guy and got married and has a kid or something. She always seemed to have her head on straight, so that's probably how things worked out. But that's great in a way, since that's what I really want for her; to have her place in the world and people to cherish.

See? Still creepy... it's creeping ME out just reading it! But it's the God's honest truth. Sure, I'd like to be with her. I miss her sometimes, but then I think "she's doing just fine, man". Yeah, she's doing fine, I'm sure, but I'm still sad knowing I'm not the one she's with. Jesus hip-hoppin' Christ... I sound like a 15-year-old with a crush on the head cheerleader...

Anyhow... Daylani, if you see this, just know that I wish you all the best, and to take care.