The streak continues!

Tonight was the quarterfinals match with BR1, and we successfully defended our honor as the #1 seed. It was quite possibly more intense than our last meeting, because I know they wanted to send us home with a loss.

We have yet to find out who our opponent will be, but the deciding match between =BTG= and [101st Aîr] will be one to watch.

One step closer!

If anyone is reading this, I've decided to keep you up to date on the progress of x[clan] in the Battlefield 1942 CAL League. We faced off against [WD] (Wild Diamonds) on Monte Cassino tonight in what can only be called a "slobberknocker" of a match. We move on with a win, continuing an 8-game winning streak while only losing 3 rounds in all the scrimmages and the match (I think we scrimmed 6 times) this week. We are all very stoked about the prospect of playing on Aberdeen this week, especially since we have one of, if not THE best tanking corps in the league.

We aren't taking this one lightly, either. With their highly intense win over .:6Gun:. tonight, =BR1= will be our opponents on Aberdeen, which should make for a phenomenal battle. I hope they bring their "A Game", 'cause I know we will...

On to the playoffs!

I play Battlefield 1942 in the Cyberathlete's Amateur League in the "Open" division with a team called x[clan]. We are currently 7-1 after our win tonight over a formidable =BR1=, which puts in first place in the league. I've been playing with x[clan] for 4 seasons now, and I couldn't ask for a greater group of guys (and girls). From the day I was recruited by x[vinnie], I knew I'd be playing (whatever games I play) with them for a long time. Now we have a really REALLY good chance of taking the season 5 championship, and all of us are jazzed beyond measure.

On with life...

To get my mind off of recent events, I decided to just get out and take a walk. I walked up the street to grab a Pepsi or something, and what did I find in the bushes on the corner? A wrinkled up $10 spot! Not that I'm broke or anything (far from it), it just brightened my day a tad.

I thought it'd be a nice treat for someone ELSE to pay my way today, so I went and saw "Troy" with my found loot. Good flick, I must say. It was that or some goofy ass flick with the Olsen twins, and I'm just not into that kind of movie, thank you very much.

I've never been what anyone would call a fan of Brad Pitt, but he did very well in the role of Achilles. I didn't much care for the actress who played Helen, though. Helen was supposedly the most beautiful woman in existence, which made her so desirable the Trojan war was begun (or some such shit), yet they chose someone who was more along the "attractive plain Jane" lines. She performed admirably, and I wouldn't turn her away myself, I just feel they could have chosen a far more attractive actress for the part...

Rejection sucks...

Rejection sucks. Not necessarily rejection, but the fact that her feelings were never really mentioned. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I “spilled my heart out” to her, but it was a show of wanted affection nonetheless. I DID expect that SOMETHING would come out of it, but not “nothing”. I know I should have said or done something sooner, but I really don’t have the confidence to do such a thing. I think… no, I know that is my biggest downfall when it comes to the opposite sex. Not being able to relate my true feelings until it is much too late. If I would have mentioned my desires months ago, maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t be leaving. Or at least I might have been leaving WITH her. Who knows? Maybe it would have been something magical, maybe it would have been a complete and utter disaster. That’s the whole thing… nobody ever WILL know.

She’s leaving before we really had any chance of truly making any effort at knowing who each other really was, and for that, I am deeply sorry. Sorry to myself, sorry to her, sorry to the whole “mating ritual” we humans so desperately need to go through. I knew what should have been said, and I knew it a long time ago. The problem that I’m facing is that I’m too stupid, too ignorant, too self-centered. When an opportunity arises, take it. Don’t sit idly by while it passes right in front of your face. Grab that fucker by the horns and take that sonofabitch for a ride. Unfortunately for me, I procrastinate. I let the opportunity pass by, hoping maybe, just maybe someone will take action first. Then I won’t have to stick MY neck out on the chopping block and look like an ass. Too bad that generally fucks up any chances you might have at happiness, doesn’t it?

Maybe she DID feel the same towards me and I just didn’t know it. Possibly she is riding the same emotional rollercoaster I am, and is doing the same thing I am, constantly saying “let the other person make the first move”. Too bad I’ll never know now. She’s gone, and there’s actually not a damn thing I could do or say that would change that fact now. I’ll survive, I suppose. Going about life the way I always have. Mostly lonely. Sometimes angry, sometimes peaceful. The biggest problem I’m going to have to face is simply knowing she’ll probably never want to come back to this shit hole of a place. Where she’s going is really where she needs to be for her well being, which is quite possibly the only thing that makes me the least bit happy about this whole situation. Knowing that she’s happy, even though I didn’t know her well enough on a personal level, DOES make me feel happy. I’m still pissed at myself, but I’ll get over it. I usually do…

Where am I going?

I know it's doubtful that any of you reading this would even know who I am, so I won't launch into some useless description of myself and bore you with some diatribe about how much I "rock". It's useless and pedantic. I simply figured this would be a sufficient outlet for me to place my views on life in general on the table, so to speak.

So if you want to read what I have to say, fine. If not, go read a book. I really don't care one way or the other. I'm not going to try and keep things "interesting" either. You want interesting? Go sit on a bench at your local mall and watch the masses pass you by. THAT, my friends, is interesting.